Tuesday, February 8, 2011

At the end of the day it all comes down to science.

In physics you have Newton's three laws of motion. They keep the world ticking over... stop the university from imploding... or something like that anyway. You may be thinking what has this got to do with dieting? Well any true dieter (or professional cheater) will know the three fundamental rules of dieting.

1. If you are eating/staying at someones house you must eat their food. It would be rude to refuse.

2. If you are meeting up with old friends that you rarely see it is not acceptable to diet - you must have fun instead.

And lastly... If you make a cake you must lick the bowl.

These are rules that I've followed for most of my dieting life ( or at least from this week anyway). So you will see that it was completely out of my hands this week that I had to abide by each of these rules. If I hadn't the dieting universe wouldn't have been right. It is also why although I started the week doing the atkins diet... I ended it having done more of an "experimental" diet.

And like any true scientist you need to test new theories. I am pretty confident if you ate healthily in all instances other than the three rules you'd loose weight - but I needed a new challenge, someway of revolutionising the dieting world. So I added a couple of new rules...

4. If you go out dancing you can eat chips and/or a battered sausage.

5. If you are Gatwick you can eat a McDonalds.

So on to the conclusion. It has become evident that perhaps the addition of these extra rules was the greatest flaw of my plan. Let me explain... if d = normal diet, b = burgers, and bs = battered sausage ... then... d + b + bs = 3 pounds weight gain. 

In non scientific terms you could say I'm just a big fat cheater. You'd be right.... e = mc squared, eating = me slightly more rounded. My experimental diet failed big style. I promise I'll try harder this week... maybe....

1 comment:

  1. Hello,
    I see you've already met Mark - I'm ANOTHER crazy 52 week dieter, you can visit me at 52diets.blogspot.com.
    Loving your blog, keep up the good work!