And that pretty much sums up the eat every thirteen minutes diet - the idea sounds fantastic, in reality all I can say is it's stupid. As a result of the stupidity of the diet by Saturday I cheated. I'm going to get that one out early. The result of the cheating was that I lost... nothing. This week I am therefore punishing myself - but more on that later.
It was meant to just be one meal that I cheated but extended right the way through Sunday, as is often the case with cheating. You really get into the swing of it. It's like riding a bike - even if you convince yourself you don't like cream cakes, once you give them a try you realise you never forget how enjoyable it is to eat them... and then you are having so much fun you don't want to stop. I didn't actually have cream cakes, but i did have chips... twice. The most annoying thing though is that I had lost weight when I weighed myself on Saturday - two pounds in fact. But I put this back on over the weekend... proving that not only is the diet stupid, I am too.
But why is it so stupid? Well let me first explain the basics of this diet... You eat three health meals each day. For example most days I had porridge for breakfast, soup and ryvita for lunch, and the meat or fish and veg for tea. Sounds alright. On top of this you can have three pieces of fruit, and half a pint of skimmed milk. Brilliant... In fact if that was the extent of the diet I could have stuck to it. It was the eating every thirteen minutes thing that wore me down.
Basically you have to keep a little pot of raw vegetables and a protein such as cooked chicken to hand. The food has to be chopped to the size of you little fingernail, and you can eat one bit every thirteen minutes. This is harder than it sounds. Basically I was either sat staring at this little pot... starving... salivating... waiting for thirteen minutes to pass so i could have another fingernail piece of bean. Then the moment would come, a flurry of joy would pass through my mind... I'd eat the fingernail piece of bean. Then sit and stare at the pot again. Like a dog watching someone cook, waiting for a scrap to fall on the ground.
That was one scenario. The other was that I'd be really busy at work, suddenly realise two hours had passed and i'd forgotten to eat not one fingernail piece of bean, but eight! The disappointment that I'd deprived my body of food... how could I? And surely it didn't work if you ate them all at once? I felt like i'd let myself, and the fingernail food, down.
I couldn't continue... I hate the eat every thirteen minute diet. It might not seem so bad this time next week though because now I'll move onto the punishment for my cheating ... (and perhaps punishing those around me)
This week I will be doing an oldie, but apparently not a goodie... the cabbage soup diet. It promises to help me lose up to ten pounds in a week.. and also to make me smell. Joy!